Have you ever found yourself so despondent, felt like “what’s the point of it all?,” that the most you could get yourself to do was mindlessly scroll your FB feed because it gave you that temporary (and false) sense that in that moment you weren’t completely alone? Or played a mindless video app on your phone just so you could zone out? Or, like me, input HELP!!! in your Duck-Duck-Go search engine in the hopes that something of value would miraculously pop up like an Angel from Heaven to guide you out of your funk?
Since an angel has yet to appear before me, this website has become my faint attempt to rectify the sad result of my multiple Duck-Duck-Go search failures.
How I got to the bottom of that deep funk rabbit hole is actually fairly simple. I’m single, introverted, and in deep search of my Life Purpose. My kids are grown, as independent as I am (the apple and the tree and all that), and for the most part living away from the city I currently call “home.” What all of this means is simply that I spend an inordinate amount of time alone, both on purpose and, some days, not so on purpose. My particular mix of personality and life circumstances happen to come with the drawback that the people around me tend to think I mostly don’t need them or their company – and I’m not yet very good at letting them know otherwise (or asking for help when I need it). Add to that this especially fear-induced moment in time we’re all navigating through, and well, the rabbit hole came rushing at me.
It was through sheer persistence that I came to realize that beyond the illusion of the world that appears to be around me, I was going through a Dark Knight of the Soul moment. Understanding what that is, what it meant, and what the symptoms were, forced me to forge ahead on my journey in the hopes of finding the light at the end of the tunnel.
I remember the exact moment I lost all hope of ever seeing a glimmer of that light. I was in the midst of an upsurge of hyperventilation and panic attack, resurfacing from my childhood days. That very unpleasant “I’m dying” feeling, although short-lived since I’ve learned to stop the attacks before they blow full-fledged out of proportion, had me questioning whether I was so far gone despite the care and attention I’d been giving my own healing over the last 3 years, that maybe it was time to take a prescription drug to alleviate the misery. I wanted to go numb.
I know that for many reading this, that would seem like the right thing to do – and maybe for you it is. Or for those who like it more natural, maybe try a little Marij, you know? But that’s because you don’t know me, yet.
The first thing I’ll share on that topic, is that I react to pot in a not so nice way. I tried it for the first time with a friend when I turned 50, because I thought it was about time I went a little wild and experienced what all the hooplah was about. Until then I’d never – and I do mean never – tried any kind of illegal drug in my life, and this seemed safe enough. After all, it’s a herb and legal since the gov’t figured out a way to make its cut, so it no longer dangled much guilt before my holier-than-thou conscience.
I ended up crying all night long and woke up with a massive hang-over, not to mention my stools that morning were the colour of fresh cut grass after a warm May shower. A few months later – the second and last time I tried it – I laughed all evening, but still woke up with a migraine and fresh cut grass coloured stools that smelled nothing like fresh cut grass. Needless to say, Marij and I aren’t besties.
The second thing I’ll share, is that I’ve been an alternative medicine/spiritual healing student and practitioner for 30+ years, and this natural way of taking care of myself and others is ingrained in every fibre of my being. So for me to be thinking of going towards allopathic medicine now, was a definite sign that I’d hit the bottom of my own personal rabbit hole.
Before we dive in deeper, please let me clarify that I’m not here to offer advise or even guidance. I’m here to “put pen to paper” on the path I took (and am still taking) to get to my next “right step” on this journey to my Life’s Purpose. I’m sharing what I’ve learned and what I’ll continue to learn along the way, and I’ll definitely learn from what I share (“What we are merely taught seldom nourishes the mind like that which we teach ourselves.” Carter G. Woodson). My aim is to offer up no fluff to keep me feeling warm and cozy and righteous in my daily misery. No commiseration for stories I’ve been rehashing since I was still a sperm walking around with my father. No 2 minute quick fix videos on how I got back to my “normal” life because I’m not going back there – it is, after all, the very life that dragged me here kicking and screaming in the first place.
What I will be sharing, is my vulnerability, my authenticity, and my alternative perspective on hard-to-face truths, in plain (sometimes crude) language. I’m working to let go of my long-held stories and to heal all Body, Mind & Spirit aspects of myself, and if you’re on the same journey, then WELCOME to HELP! – where Human Evolution Loves Peace. I’m sure we’ll have a lot to offer each other as we remember (or maybe learn for the first time) how to breathe, quiet our minds, and intuitively let ourselves be guided to what comes next.
So sit back comfortably in your favourite chair – mine is an old pink Lazy Boy recliner – and lets begin to breathe…
Close your eyes, inhaling through your nose for 4 counts as you breathe in from Mother Earth’s core, into your feet, your sacral chakra, your belly, solar plexus, heart, throat, up to your third eye….Squeeze everything in, making yourself as tall as possible while holding for 4 counts….breathe out through your crown chakra, expelling from your mouth into Father Sky for 4 counts….
Reverse direction, inhaling through your nose for 4 counts as you breathe through your crown chakra, your 3rd eye, throat, heart, solar plexus, belly, and sacral chakra….Squeeze everything in, making yourself as tall as possible while holding for 4 counts….expel out through your sacral chakra and feet, into Mother Earth for 4 counts.…
Repeat. As many times as needed until relaxation and relief start to be felt. If you feel dizzy or lightheaded at any point during the exercise, please take your time with the breath, gradually going up to 4 counts, and/or take a pause between repetitions. Chances are your body is being oxygenated more than it’s used to and may need some time to adjust.
I don’t know about you, but when I do this breathing exercise, I feel more grounded. More connected to everything around me. Like the world is suddenly kinder and gentler. Inevitably, something shifts inside with just that one *breath of life.
I hope you begin to use this very simple tool daily to connect with that which is bigger than all of us. My wish for anyone Duck-Duck-Go’ing Help!!!, is that our searches will land us here time and again because the website provides a safe space that contains enough spiritual nourishment, enough breath of life, enough alternative thoughts to consider, that we all find some relief and refreshing pauses along our never-ending journey.
It’s my absolute pleasure to be here with you. I’m humbled by your presence, and hope this moment spent together has brought a little bit of calendula balm to your Soul.
And now that I think about it, my being here writing to you, maybe an Angel from Heaven did appear for me on that fateful Duck-Duck-Go search day…
Light & Love,
~Isabelle Monique~
*For more great insight and expertise into the benefits of breath work, please visit one of my favourites on this topic: Dr. Sue Morter.com.
Human Evolution Loves Peace 